Q: I have a friend who has been through very , very rough emotional times in his life. Starting with abuse at an early age...sexual abuse, that went on for a period from age 3-12. He comes from a Christian home and this terrible act went on in his house by someone who was not related to the family. Although, having a Christian background and Christian parents, because of the tremendous amount of pressure put on him from the Christian sect. He has come to despise Christianity and all it stands for.
He was enrolled as a member of an organization called
(I have removed the name of this organization as this is a public post, and without concrete proof, “slander” could be charged)
Which basically brainwashed him into believing that if he didn’t behave as the "perfect little Christian boy" he should be…that he was going to hell. His parents basically reinforced that belief in him.
Did that make a close loving, uplifting relationship with God?
Did that make a relationship with God based on a true sharing of your friends most treasured thoughts, feelings and expressions occur?
Of course it didn’t.
It did just the opposite, it cause fear, anxiety and pain to occur and more importantly a perceived division between God and your friend. In reality there is no division, but in “ego” this division resembles the “great wall” of China.
Have you ever heard the expression “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”?
More accurately put “the road to the (illusion of separation from pure unconditional love “God”) is paved with good intentions
The church thought two things:
1w - if we make children fear God they will do the right thing and not sin…
2 - - they will keep coming back church if they “have to”
The first of these was the good intentions was totally incorrect, yet still continues today.
Many churches do not realize that you can never truly love that which you are taught to fear.
Fear makes your run, love allows you to share…
I have actually hear people say with pride “I am a good God fearing Christian”
Jesus said “Love thy neighbor as thy self”
Forgive thy enemies…
So for us to place blame on the church or the other organization serves no useful purpose. It gets us no where.
Many people have said to me “I need to find a church that teaches this unconditional love that you talk about. I want to go to that Church!”
I say “Don’t change churches!”
Q: “What do you mean don’t change churches, mine makes me feel like shit. I feel as though I am just a number, judged as guilty by our priest, pastor, minister or other.”
A: Quit looking to find a church that teaches what you want.
Obviously the one you go to is close enough for you to go to it.
You probably already have friends there.
So ask you friends if they would want services really focused on the teachings of Jesus. If so then have a meeting with the Priest, minister, pastor or person leading the service.
Tell them what the members of the church want. “Don’t you think they would be happier speaking of the true teaching of Jesus and how to apply them in modern day life – than judging, condemning you into believing you are worthless sinner by having you repeat it over and over each and every week?”
How can they complain if it is based on the true teachings of the leader of their church (Jesus Christ)
We have stepped very far from those teachings…
The time has come to remember them…
To embrace Christ's teachings…
To express them though a wonderful sharing with your neighbor – this is love…
Be the sharing…Be the caring…Be who you truly are…
These teachings bring;
Peace…
Togetherness…
Tenderness…
Understanding…
Sharing…
Love…
There is everything "right" with these teachings.
So quit judging your priest, pastor, minister's - and start assisting them to more in a positive direction of the true teachings of Jesus...
Jesus was not called “The price of peace” by accident.
He doesn’t want healing for what happened to him all those years( he is now 27). He wants nothing to do with Christianity at all. My question for you is....is there anyway I can help him with this?? For him to realize that God and Christ want to help him deal with all the hurt and pain that those people caused him in his life?
Now your question is “how do you help your friend?”
First off you cannot help someone to understand a positive definition of God when though out life they learned God is judgmental, wrathful, not understanding, punishing and damning.
If you want him to know God is unconditional love then you need to show him your unconditional love and acceptance. Teach by example.
Stop trying to change your friend and just love him completely as he is right now. Let him be showered with the feeling of acceptance.
Continue to do this till it is familiar to him.
And then continue to do it with him the rest of your life.
As the old saying goes:
Be the change in the world you want to see…
He will want to know more about this when it feels right to him.
The word “God” is the most misused, misunderstood word there is…
Use a word that is more acceptable to him. Maybe “universe”
It does not matter what you call God, it is still just God (with a nickname :-)
Take the fear away by using terms that he has no preconceived negative thoughts or beliefs about and show him you accept him just the way he is…
Really show him that you are willing not to judge him in any way, by totally loving him just as he is right now…
Share your time with him…
Teach him love by positive example - without lectures…
You will both grow…
You will both blossom…
I am a Christian. I wish he wasn’t so angry and bitter and hateful against God.
He is really angry and hateful of those who he perceives have hurt him, Gods just a bigger target to blame. He has his identity rooted in Anger. His name is not Anger… Slowly start to show him how he is identifying with his thoughts as being who he is.
I just want him to see that God DOES LOVE HIM and care about him and is waiting for him to reach out to Him for healing and release from all the emotional pain he is experiencing.
He will release this pain only when he sheds his identity with his emotions. Again, show him a positive way by your example that you can love and accept him just the way that he is.
Any thoughts on this topic would be welcomed. I just don’t know what to do.
Signed,
concerned Christian friend
I love you my friend…
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